Love, victually

It is with much shame that I admit, my comrades, the dishonourable truth. The appalling reality.

I share a more meaningful relationship with food than I do with you.

So why is it that a deep dish of pesto pasta or a banana leaf of choice Iyengar delicacies or a smidgen of perfectly-textured mousse, or a bowl of creamy Thai curry, or a stack of bebinca…sigh….so, where I am getting is, why do all of these aforementioned items seem more enticing to me than a long, meaningful, cosy conversation with my friends and loved ones? I thought about it hard the other day, when this heart-breaking home truth exploded in my head in the first place, like a heady overdose of wasabi. It was one of those Anusha-in-murderous-mood kind of days, when everything was getting on my nerves. Friends offered their impatient sympathies through instant chat and I made plans to meet several of them later in the day. In the evening, however, as I was getting ready to head out, I changed my mind. I texted my friends asking them to please forgive me for ditching at the last minute, but something had come up. What had come up was my dear appetite. So what I did was, head out to the nearest restaurant and order a plate of mashed potatoes. I then devoured a main course of gnocchi. It was lovely. Not doughy like many stupid restaurants tend to make it these days. Next stop- the friendly neighbourhood coffee shop, where dark passion awaited me in the form of a tall-glassed mélange of chocolate ice cream, chocolate brownie, chocolate sauce and chocolate rolls. Half an hour later, Anusha went home and slept like a baby-on-Cerelac. The next day, everything was well with the world again. Since then, I’ve been taking mental notes…Food versus Home Sapiens. Here are some thoughts:

Food makes me cry, brings out the emotions in me:
Those who know me as a mere acquaintance, think I am granite- cold, heartless, emotionless. Those who know me better, however, will tell you I am The Tempest in human form. I rave, I rant, I growl, I grunt, I bite (telepathically), I jump… but I don’t cry, not that easily anyway. But I kid you not, the last time I was fortunate enough to come upon the perfect Thai curry, tears escaped involuntarily and unchecked, until I realized the curry wasn’t even that hot. I was crying tears of unhindered joy.
“Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.” ~ Thomas Chandler Haliburton)
Food makes me ‘right’.


Food doesn’t have crazy expectations and is not possessive:
It won’t mind if you don’t account for where you were last evening at 6.17 pm. It won’t give two hoots if you have a life-sized zit on your life-sized nose. It doesn’t even expect you to brush your teeth before you kiss it. And sure as hell, a jam tart isn’t going to demand an explanation when you decide to switch to burfi, one fine day. All food does, is dole out spaghetti-like spools of never-ending, comforting love.
“Expectations in your life just lead to giant disappointments.” Michael Landon
Pass me the giant bowl of popcorn, please. Mr Disappointment, be on your way now.

Food and I share a love-love relationship:
I love food and food loves me. It is that simple. Food shows its love for me by being yielding, fulfilling and filling, and I show my deep affection for it by polishing of every last morsel. Who cares about kama sutra, when you can have khana sutra?
“A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.” Stendhal

I hope my next meal is just as good as the last one.

Food has a universal language:

Yummy, mmm, ahh, ooooh la la... you don't need to know Spanish to tell a boat of tacos that you love it.

"Smiles are the language of love." David Hare
Oh that olan, oh that pulisheri.... :-)
Finally...

When all is down and the world is plotting against you...:

... Turn to a plate of thayir sadam and maanga oorga for comfort, instant relief and a quantum of solace. It is unlikely to tell you 'Sorry darling, am stuck in a meeting. We'll talk after three and a half hours.'

- FYI, here's a note to The Eagles: Love doesn’t keep you alive. I tried it once and after merely six hours, I suffered from symptoms of dehydration and started having severe hallucinations that involved being locked in a bottomless pit of despair. Try the food life sometime, guys.